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Birth of SHY

Hiding under the covers, hands clasped over my ears, I feel a sharp sting of fright as I hear my parents shouting from the next room. This is the fifth time this week and seems to be all that mommy and daddy do together anymore. Something awful is going to happen soon and I don't know how or when or what I can do about it. I tremble at the thought and pull my head further down into my knees and I clutch tighter to  my teddy bear, Mr.Fluff. 

There is a rustling by the bedside as my tabby cat jumps up and sneaks under the sheets with me. The kitty purrs up against my legs, attempting to soothe my silent cries. Eventually he settles into my lap. This is a nightly ritual for us, waiting for the shouts to end to fall asleep exhausted.

The arguments get much worse over the next few months. Eventually I am taken away by my mom. I am rushed out the door with little explanation as to why and in the last moments of distress I cry out - leaving an intense spark of fear that echoes back through the doorway. 

My cat is left behind. 

The house is empty now, the father is barely ever home. 

There is nothing for the cat to do but stare out the window wondering where I went, worrying for me, and sitting in the echoes of my cries.

Through the mixture of both our fears and the spark of parting ways, a little urban shadow slowly takes its form under the covers of the now empty bed. It’s name is SHY, and for now it is peacefully sleeping where I used to

Personal Stories: Video


Birth of LOLI

Even though I was out with a bunch of my friends at a local bar, I felt particularly lonely that night. I decided to take a breath of fresh air. When I stepped out through the front doors, I saw A dark narrow street with a few streetlamps, they were giving off a very dull yellow light. 

Flickering neon purple light playfully bounced on my face as I made a few more steps forward. I squinted from the brightness of the flashes. Right outside the doors, I leaned by the wall. It felt like a cozy enough spot. I reached into a pocket of an oversized leather jacket that was awkwardly hanging down my shoulders. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes, took one out and lit it.  Lazily half crossing my arms I started aimlessly at the night sky.  A narrow corridor of worn-down buildings obscured most of it. The night sky was full of heavy muted clouds anyway, and vaguely lit by a pale white moon.

 I was taking in slow deep breaths of the smoke hoping that this heavy feeling would be neutralized by nicotine. Each Exhale was creating a curtain of smog all around me. Now I felt even more cozy, and more comfortable than being around my friends and all those people. 

A sudden buzz of my cellphone snapped me out of my daze. I looked down at my phone, and I received another message. I scrolled down and pressed “delete”.  At this moment I felt like I wanted to delete my existence with it. With the rest of the cigarette I dropped my feelings of loneliness and misery  on the ground and quickly walked back into the bar to face the heavy burden of self centric, pointless, colorless conversations. 

On the ground A small dark shadow formed out of the shouldering cigarette’s smoke.  It perked up and became an independent dark blobby shape. Loli just came to life. The eyes appeared and a mouth grew out into a wide smile. Another Urban Shadow was born that night. 

Personal Stories: Video
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